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The Sister Scoop

Anxiety Management Technique: Acceptance

This week, a few members of our community really struggled with believing their anxiety diagnoses. Mags and I understood exactly how they were feeling—we’ve both been there, done that, and literally wrote the book on it. In fact, most of the hundreds of Anxiety Sisters we have interviewed spoke of some form of denial or disbelief when they were told they had anxiety.


Most of you know the story of my first anxiety attack, but, for those of you who have not yet had that pleasure, here’s the Cliff’s Notes:


Serious cardiac symptoms (rhinoceros sitting on my chest, gasping for air, numbness in my left arm etc.) followed by a brief floating incident (depersonalization) and a spinning room sent me to the local ER. After hours of tests, I was pronounced anxious but otherwise healthy. Certain I had been misdiagnosed and/or blown off as a hysterical female, I shelved the packet of pills I had been given. I also ignored the suggestion that I see a psychiatrist, and instead I had several more anxiety attacks that led me to several more visits to the ER. Finally, I did take the aforementioned pills, and they did indeed help. But like any good anxiety sister I went to the cardiologist (2 of them) and I still was not convinced that I had anxiety.


That, however, is the tricky thing about anxiety. There’s no blood test (yet) or x-ray to confirm the diagnosis. Even after twenty years of suffering from anxiety in its myriad forms, seven years of interviewing hundreds of fellow sufferers, countless hours of research, and thousands of dollars in psychiatry bills, I still ask Mags (nobody else will listen) “Are you sure this is anxiety?”


The hardest part of having this disorder, for me, is accepting it as the cause of my physical symptoms. And yet, that very lack of acceptance stands in the way of my healing. There is a “giving over” to the disease—maybe to all diseases—that needs to happen before it can be fought. Only after this acceptance, can I effectively utilize all the other techniques that help me manage my disorder.


Without absolute acceptance of my anxiety diagnosis, there will always be this insidious thought wandering the corridors of my brain that maybe, just maybe, I really do have something wrong with my heart. And we all know where that thought leads…


Anyone else struggle with acceptance?



  • nervousnellie17
    August 16, 2017

    i just joined your site and look forward to reading everything. I love what you said in the Acceptance article. I have suffered with Anxiety since my early 20’s and I am now 47 and I still will mychart my doctor or go for a visit when, I know deep down it is my anxiety but that 1% chance that it is not, i have to find out. I like that you said you went to 2 Cardiologist. I haven’t been to one, but as I sit here today, with my heart racing off and on, especially the more I think about it, I think, maybe I need to see a Cardiologist. Just to rule out something. Thanks for your site. Jill

    • Abs
      August 16, 2017

      Welcome! We are so glad you found us! Yes, we are very familiar with the whole “am I having a heart attack or a panic attack” trick our anxiety brains play on us…(If I’m being really honest, I saw more than 2 cardiologists!!!)

      Let us know how you are doing,
      Abs & Mags

  • September 24, 2017

    I truly treasure your work, Great post.

    • Mags
      September 28, 2017

      Thanks so much for your support, we really appreciate it.
      Mags and Abs

  • Sheila Bergquist
    August 19, 2018

    I feel exactly the same way. I can’t get to that complete acceptance part. I’ve been working on it for sooooo long and it just makes me so mad because I know it would help tremendously. So glad to read your article!

  • Hill
    November 25, 2020

    So good to read that I’m not alone. Even after two docs and two cardiologists told me “There’s nothing wrong with your heart,” and “fast pulse isn’t a problem unless you have heart disease, and you don’t,” I found it hard to believe. I’ve had anxiety all my life, and a few years ago, at the suggestion of my doc (who I think is another Sister!) I named her. It helped. Now when “Maxine” comes around, I can (usually) say, “Oh. It’s you. Well, have a seat.”

  • Rana
    July 28, 2022

    The story of your “cardiac” events; the denial of your Diagnosis, etc, Sounds identical to my experience. The similarities ate eerie!


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