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The Sister Scoop

Hard Things

One of our favorite mantras is “I can do hard things.” Anxiety can certainly bring us to our knees, and cause us to forget our strength and resilience, but we are psychologically hardwired to persevere. Still, we all need a reminder that we have done hard things (yes, everyone has) and lived through it. If you think about it, your track record for making it through hard days is 100%!

Recently, I was quite anxious about recording the audio book of The Anxiety Sisters’ Survival Guide. I had dyslexia and speech impediments growing up, and the idea of reading in front of the studio staff and the director seemed impossible. So I called my DAB (Designated Anxiety Buddy), and Abs reminded me, “You can do hard things.” I didn’t really buy it, truth be told, but I did what Abs said and kept repeating this mantra to myself over and over. The next week, I went into the recording studio and, even though I stumbled a bit, I did do it. “See?” Abs said. “You can do hard things.” True, but the real lesson for me that day was that I can do hard things with support.

Some of you may remember that I was so nervous about going into the recording studio that I reached out on Facebook to our Anxiety Sisters’ community. Many, many people cheered me on in all sorts of ways, and I deeply felt the support of the community. One person commented that I did not need to be perfect, just authentic. Other folks shared their experiences and gave me confidence. I carried this support with me into the studio, and it helped so much.

When I arrived at the recording studio, I was met by a lovely sound engineer and an incredible director. I shared my anxiety with them and they too were so kind and helpful. Throughout the recording sessions, the director gave me so much support, I actually ended up enjoying the process.

So, while I made the audio recording successfully, I didn’t do it alone. The Anxiety Sisterhood encouraged me, Abs gave me useful guidance, and the director was with me every step of the way. I was able to do something very hard for me because of so much emotional support.

For many of us, certain hard things seem impossible. For example, when I was fearful of driving (especially on the highway and in the rain), I could not see how I would be able to do it ever again. I blamed myself and felt weak. It wasn’t until I worked with an exposure therapist and went on medication that I could successfully overcome this phobia. I did the exposure therapy (driving on the highway) alone—which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever attempted—but I had a therapist (and Abs) to help me through it. I may have been alone in the car, but I was not alone in the struggle.

Why am I telling you these stories? Because I think so many of us feel that when we can’t do something hard, we are to blame. We call ourselves all sorts of mean names and question our abilities. Then we enter that awful shame spiral which only exacerbates our doubts and anxiety.

If shame is about feeling outcast or isolated from the herd, connecting is what we need to do to alleviate it. We should start asking ourselves if we need support when it comes to doing a hard thing, and, if so, where can we get that support? (Hint: our Sisterhood is often a good place to start.) Because the truth is, we are all in this world of hard things together—no human being gets out without suffering and struggling and feeling alone.

Abs and I always say that Anxiety Sisters don’t go it alone. We mean it. We can all do hard things, but we need other people (and pets) to help us.  


  • Panchita
    February 10, 2022

    My daughter told me about your HELP button. It has helped me out of Afib a few times due to anxiety. THANK YOU!!

  • lynda true
    June 6, 2022

    I am Anxious to try your website as I Often suffer From anxiety. I’m on medication and have been for Years but it Doesn’t Help Much..

  • Cecile Wall
    September 25, 2022

    Today am preparing for the Jewish holidays. Usually have 14 people. Tonight 7. Grandkids all out of town jobs n school. For past week have had severe n overwhelming anticipatory anxiety obsessing about shopping cooking setting table. My whole body ached. But got it all done. Finished the last minute thinks n ready to shower n get dressed. A feeling of calm finally came over me The thinking n obsessing was creating the anxiety. Once began doing it all fell into place as each day did a little bit and was able to accomplish what was needed to be done. Point being anticipation of the challenge or phobia or fear is worse than actually doing the what we think we cant. I will treat myself to a small glass/sip of wine 1/2 of my anxiey meds to continue with my composure n stay steady throughout the traditional meal. So whether 7 or 14 same anxiety prevaiils. My aches n pains will or should slowly dissipate🙏🤞🏻👍🍷

  • doris
    December 3, 2022

    I’m about to start a new job on monday. It means driving in a section of town i’m unfamiliar with which bothers me but starting a new job is always VERY hard for me. I always expect to fail. Im not sure why.

  • Alison Kirk
    January 20, 2023

    Read your newsl

  • Alison Kirk
    January 20, 2023


  • Janet
    May 7, 2023

    Please subscribe me to your newsletter – I am on meds for panic Disorder and I am prone to anxiety –

  • September 15, 2023

    I think it’s great when we can come together and help one another. A problem shared is a problem halved. Having a connection with someone we trust can make the world of difference.

  • October 18, 2023

    Fear, dread, and unease are the emotions that characterize anxiety.

  • bella
    October 29, 2023

    HI, i am a girl suffering from anxiety i’m currently in therapy, yet i couldn’t be more greatful for your website im so happy and glad i found it while looking up my symptoms online( lol) . i especially related to the article about malls. thank you so much for being who you are and helping the community of anxiety sisters. i love how you phrase things and the terms you use are extremley comforting. It’s so amazing to know i’m not alone. # it gets better!!! lots of love to those struggling with anxiety we get it, and it gets better. i hope everyone is as lucky as i am that i found your website! hope whoevers reading this hypes themselves up that theyve come this far and are on their way even if you feel alone you arent. your okay your strong!! were strong!!. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR having this website! your absoulutley amazing ppeople


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